The Gadfly: 2008

19 September 2008

Back Again...

It’s been far too long since I’ve written down my experience and feelings. And with the lack of doing so, I’ve realized it’s somewhat of a therapy. Writing it all down, and sorting through everything really balances me out. Maybe I’m just emotional or experience too many mood swings, but this is all really intense. Trying to help others and trying to help yourself all at once. I often feel like a juggler at the circus…with everyone watching in amusement at my talent. But don’t get me wrong, I’m bound to drop something. And I do. Often.
Maybe that’s a sign I’m juggling too much at any given time. Which slowly I’ve realized and am working on letting go.

But back to AmeriCorps*NCCC, the reason behind everything I feel. It’s been a roller coaster ride. Of emotions that is. There are days when you forget why you’re doing such work, and feel very oh, woe is me. And other days you are so vividly reminded of why you are indeed giving of yourself to help someone else in need. I experienced those days back-to-back this past week.
I have been on, what we NCCCers call, disaster relief. This has brought me all the way to Dallas, to work in a evacuee shelter at the convention center here. Now upon parking the 12 passenger van that lugs my team and I around everyday, I felt fear grip me. But not the usual fear that makes me question if I really want to be doing this, just a little message from my brain saying, “Hey girl, everyone in this building has been through some traumatic situations…don’t forget and DON’T MESS UP!” And like I’ve said before, this would usually make me squirm in my skin, would make me want to jump out of my skin and run away to find an easier life to live. However, this time, I didn’t react. I must have been tuning out my brain that day, after all, it was my first day back to working after a month break back home. So that first day at the shelter turned into more of a going through the motions kind of day, I didn’t really think about what I was doing, why I was there, or why 1,000+ other people were there. I wasn’t self-pitying that day either. I was just there, numb to the world I guess you could say, numb to my existence. Just another day at work in AmeriCorps, no heart.

Then came day two. But before I go into detail. Let me tell you what we were doing exactly. We were there to help The Salvation Army serve lunch and dinner to these 1000+ people who have just experienced this hurricane, have potentially lost their home, or everything!, have maybe lost a family member or friend, and are sleeping in a shelter full of people, with no privacy, hardly any comfort, and strangers wandering around everywhere. Not to mention, the emotions they feel about the many people who volunteer to help them through their time of need. So now there’s me. Little ol’ me. Selfishly not taking into account why I’m serving 1000+ other people food and drinks. Just thinking about me. My problems. My loneliness. My fears. My future. Me. Me. Me. Just wallowing in sadness. And not able to fit together why I was here to help these people, when I can’t even help myself.

But thank the Lord. Thank the Lord for how He knows exactly how to flip your world upside down. For how He knows exactly what you need to change your attitude. For how He can literally put in your hands the tools you need to help yourself out of the deepest of ruts. That night He gave me three things; my cell phone to call my cousin James, which in turn led me to the most powerful tool of all, Prayer, and also, a book I had starting reading called Eat, Pray, Love. With the help of these three things I woke up the next day refreshed with a whole new attitude.

And so began day three at the shelter. I was really happy to be there. And really in tune to why I was there, what I was doing for 1000+ people, and knew that even though all I was doing was serving two meals a day, with a smile on my face, I was somehow in someway helping these people out. How it helped them, doesn’t really matter, as long as they know, I don’t need to know. None of my business.

The two days before this it didn’t sink in that I was being used by God to touch the hearts of these people, even when it was evident in the many thanks and smiles I received. But day three was different. Especially when this women, after getting her a cup of coffee, said to a teammate and I, “God Bless you for loving us.” My heart instantly melted. I remembered that I was there because if I weren’t who would be there in my place loving and caring for these people. And my day followed that same attitude. I was 100% aware of everyone’s thanks and smiles. One man even shared with us his story, while other evacuees were helping other evacuees. That’s something, how beautiful it is to see all these people, in such heartache, helping each other out.

One man in particular really stood out. He was a writer. Freelance. He was doing an article on the shelter and how impressed he was with the way it was running. Which was great to know, because of knowing how everything happened after Hurricane Katrina, it was good to hear that people have stepped up and readied themselves for such catastrophes. He was also writing about how he was seeing people who didn’t really need the help taking advantage of the system. All I have to say is, I’m excited to see his paper come out in the LA observer. Oh, and his name was Ike. Coincidently, Hurricane Ike ruined his home.

I feel like I wanted to say more, but had to stop to go to work…so this is what I got…hopefully be back again soon.

14 July 2008

It's been far too long...SORRY GUYS!

Well, I'll start off with my picture links...I of course have PLENTY, since it's been generations since I've posted anything on here. So here it goes, bear with me, it's a possibility that it'll be a long one...so DEEP BREATH NOW! READY? SET. GO!

My Last Two Albums From Camden:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=120430&l=438e3&id=501785225

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=130627&l=48d4b&id=501785225 ( and a little bit from transistion at The Point in Maryland)

NEW YORK CITY!:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=120161&l=696b5&id=501785225

Hmmm, where to start? I finished off my second round in Camen, NJ. It was such an awesome round. Very relaxing, and very fun. However, I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get to see more change in the city...I have a little place in my heart for Camden...I hope to go back someday and maybe help out more. That's all I really have to say about Jersey.

Oh, some news, my team recieved a new teammate after losing another. It was a major loss to see Jared go, he had a large part in motivating the team. But luckily we got to take Tisha under our wing. She's a ton of fun and it's been great to have her around. I'm bonding with her better than most on my team. It's been hard to be real close with my teammates, we just don't have a lot of commonalities, but Tisha has really changed that around for me. I'm excited to have her around.

We also got to take time off during the round to make a weekend trip to NYC! First time there, and I think I still have mixed feelings about it. First of all, it's too big to explore in a weekend. EVERYTIME YOU GET OUT OF THE SUBWAY, IT'S AS IF YOU'RE IN A WHOLE NEW CITY! Every part of the city looks completely different...it's astonishing. We had a relaxing weekend away, we stayed with a cousin of one of my teammates. And all decided we didn't want to do the REALLY touristy thing. We wanted a weekend to chill, so we just walked around aimlessly and some teammates met up with some friends. We had cookouts on mini-grills on the streets of New York City. Wild...no back yards makes it hard to have a cookout. Driving up to the city was like looking at a photograph. It's so large, it looks surreal. I just still haven't decided if I'd ever want to live in a large city, I think I'm meant to be a small town girl. I love my nature too much, speaking off, not impressed with central park...it's just another walk in the woods but with a sidewalk path. However, I understand how the residents of the city could really enjoy it. There's my analysis on New York City...Oh, and I ate a lot of great food there...(that's one thing different parts of our country has to offer, different but great food!)

So I sadly had to leave my team to join this program I've been waiting for called Summer of Service. I went through a week of supervisory training, and MAYBE learned a lot. Quite honestly, I'm still not sure what I was suppose to get out of it. I don't think anything can really "prepare" you to deal with the raging hormones and attitudes of 14-17 yr olds who have been through a massive natural disaster. These kids have experienced more than most people can even imagine, there really isn't even a way to emphasize with them. Nothing compares to a hurricane wiping out your entire city. Some of the kids on my team stayed in New Orleans during the storm and when the levees broke. One of them was stuck on their roof, and swam to a bridge to be saved. Another was stuck on a hotel roof for 5 days, waiting for the passing helicopters to finally pick him up...at age 11, later to be seperated from his parents and left to take care of his 7 yr old sister for a month, alone! Intense...I know. But these are just a little bit of light into two of these kids stories. And there are thousands of more kids with thousands of more stories. New Orleans can't be forgotten... These kids need help from anywhere they can get it. But furthermore, I've been leading these kids in service projects, which for some is their first time really working...and it's been an experience. I applaud every parent in the world. You've got to have a backbone to raise a kid. I've been with them a week, and WOW! That's all the words I have to describe the attitude on these kids. The complaints are neverending, and their energy is overwhelming. I have two co-crew leaders. And in the nicest way possible they are pretty uptight, so it's been challenging for me. I've never had to step up and be the energy and the fun in really any situation. I've always been scared of "punishing" someone and always been afraid to speak in public. But I have been put into a situation where I have to face my fears. I've done things from making a fool of myself in community meetings to introduce myself to sounding like my mother because the kids are making fun of a mentally handicapped kid on my team. These kids have brought me to an all time high but also know how to make my blood boil. It's been an emotional roller coaster ride this month and I've had to deal with all these new things coming at me, but I've decided to let God take control. I can honestly say everyday here has been a good one! Even though these kids can through curveballs into any situation and the staff running this program keep us on our toes with an everchanging schedule and duty from 2a.m. - 6 a.m., not to mention the 100 weeks I'm pulling, I've been keeping my optimism. I've stepped back and realized in order to keep my sanity, I need to just be laidback and flexible. This has freakishly been really easy for me, even with the challenges, being here for these kids has come so naturally, it scares me.

Last but not least, You are all on my minds and in my prayers. I may not have the time to keep in contact as much as I'd like. But I love each and everyone of you...I hope all is well & I'll be home soon! :) Can't wait...ONLY 4 MONTHS LEFT!

23 May 2008

PICTURES GALORE!

15 May 2008

It's NOT about Me...

When I was in New Orleans, a guy named Paul said to me "I think a lot of people get confused, and instead of focusing on their relationship with God and what he wants them to do, people tend to try to hard to do what they want to do for him. Cassie, sometimes you want something so bad and you think it's all great, but then God just takes it away from you. And you question how he could take away something so great. But He knows what's best for you and so things will work out if they are meant to and if you're looking to God."

It's really made me think lately...
And I also stumbled across a really good book...that emphasizes what he was saying:
It's NOT about Me - By Max Lucado

I know that my life is in God's hands and I've complete faith in him and that he'll take me where He wants me to go...

BUT! I've never really thought about the relief that thought can give you.
I'm a worry wort... I tend to get caught up in planning for the future and worrying about the past. It's always been hard for me to deal with change. And this puts a whole new perspective on my life.

It emphasizes that no matter what happens, it's happening for a reason, God's glory! And it puts me at ease to know that even the worst of situations have meaning behind them. It makes me stop worrying about my future's outcome. I've put my life in his hands, I look to God, He'll take me where I need to be. And it's really helped me put my past behind me, and live in the now. I feel if I'm looking at every moment to glorify God, than everything will be okay.

And that's why I'm here, in the AmeriCorps, to shine light on him. Not me! I felt this is what was right for me, even if some people think it's selfish to leave everyone behind. And even if some people see it as all personal gain. I see it differently. I may be getting killer benefits on the road I've choosen...but it's only because I've been looking to God!
--------------------------------------------------
Now, let me tell you a little bit about New Jersey...
I arrived last Saturday to Camp Sun 'n' Fun, which I was under the impression we'd be out in the middle of nowhere. Guess who was wrong? Yes, me! We are right off of a main road, next to a very populated area, with a mini airport nearby. However, it's STILL a nice getaway. After volunteer housing, living with hundreds of people, it's nice to be with just my team...even if they make me want to rip my hair out. I have a lot of "me time." Reading, talking on the phone, exercising, writing, researching for future plans (which are slowly but surely being blueprinted, I don't think they'll ever be set in stone. Like I said, living life moment to moment...I trust I'll end up where I should be.) So it's nice here, doing a lot of self-searching. I sleep in a little OPEN-AIR cabin with 5 other girls. It's a little cramped, and it's been cold lately. Sleeping with 3 sweatshirts and 2 pairs of sweatpants! Definately living the life...boy do I miss heat! lol It's been raining a lot, and I've been working on my positivity and telling myself that "God makes rainy days, so we can appreciate the sunny ones so much more." It's been getting me through the days. We also cook for ourselves here...which is nice! Not having to eat on a schedule, and one of my teammates is a pretty excellent cook. :)

We work here at the camp, one day a week, in exchange to stay here. And we've been doing a lot of clean-up and painting. It's nice to see how a camp runs...lets me feel things out a bit! I haven't got the chance to talk to the director....but hopefully soon!

The rest of the week, we work at the garden. It's a little different than what we thought it up to be. But we are weeding and planting, which is more relaxing and enjoyable than I ever thought it'd be. I remember having a garden as a kid, and hating it, whining to Mom...Why do we have to do this? lol Well, times have changed...I wouldn't mind getting my hands full of soil everyday! We garden in the garden and also around the community! But we've also been painting around the garden for a big national gardening convention that they have the honor of hosting this year. So we are making the garden look nice 'n' spiffy. It's really nice to see the transformation! They also have festivals on Fridays & Saturdays that we help at.

The sponsors are so nice, they are getting us free tickets to everything. So I've been to a Riversharks baseball game & seen Philidelphia. We've got a bunch of other stuff lined up...so I definately won't be short on fun this round. It's a little frustrating to always have to be with the team, but like I said...I get away whenever possible. It's just like being around siblings 24/7 with no real chance to get away. They are there ALL THE TIME! It's defiantely teaching me patience and all those other good social skills.

So I've really been enjoying myself, it's just a little harder to see the impact we have this round. Camden is such a depressed city and I'd love to see some major change. But I can't ask for that, I guess. Things don't change overnight...I can only do as much as I can. It's just hard to see the lifestyle people live here. I've been told a lot of kids graduate and don't know how to read. That's just one bad thing on a list of many. They really need a helping hand here...it's so hard for me to picture no way out for all of these poor children born into a lifestyle and not know anything else. Really gets me thinking on my future, with my non-profit, maybe I'll work with inner city kids. And show them the world isn't all bad and they can make something more of themselves!

OH OH! Which leads me into telling you all, that I got in for Summer of Service. I'm so excited...I'll be working with 14-18 yr olds, who are all from low-income familes and I'll be leading them in service projects down in New Orleans. Sound a little familar? YEAH YEAH! Just like the non-profit that I want to start...I'm hoping to really get a feel for this. AHHHHHHHHHH! <----that's me excited!:)

And since I'll be in New Orleans...I get to see the houses I rebuilt...DONE! and get to spend 4th of July with them! OW OW! I'm getting antsy!

P.S. I was also on the front page of Camden's Courier Post...first ever newspaper photo...smack dap in the middle, BIG AND IN COLOR! I'm a celeb. No! Just kidding...it was an article to promote the garden and AmeriCorps*NCCC.

Well, that's the news, in a nutshell, well, a really BIG, detailed nutshell....
Love & Miss You All! Hope all is well back home...

I Need to Wake Up -By Melissa Etheridge

Have I been sleeping?
I've been so still
Afraid of crumbling
Have I been careless?
Dismissing all the distant rumblings
Take me where I am supposed to be
To comprehend the things that I can't see

Cause I need to move
I need to wake up
I need to change
I need to shake up
I need to speak out
Something's got to break up
I've been asleep
And I need to wake up
Now

And as a child I danced like it was 1999
My dreams were wild
The promise of this new world
Would be mine
Now I am throwing off the carelessness of youth
To listen to an inconvenient truth
That I need to move
I need to wake up
I need to change
I need to shake up
I need to speak out
Something's got to break up
I've been asleep
And I need to wake up
Now

I am not an island
I am not alone
I am my intentions
Trapped here in this flesh and bone

And I need to move
I need to wake up
I need to change
I need to shake up
I need to speak out
Something's got to break up
I've been asleep
And I need to wake up
Now

Another song that gives a little insight into why I'm here...
Really shows how I felt before I left home...

30 April 2008

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

So much news to share...
Today I am on transition in Jackson, MS.
Staying in a hotel..with, YES!, a hot shower...
AND I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR SHOWER SANDALS!
Such a relief.
We arrived here on Sunday night and will be departing on Friday morning.
It's comparable to living like Kings & Queens at this one star hotel after living in volunteer housing for 2 months.
And the food from the hotel restaurant is GLORIOUS!
That's the beauty of living in unfortunate conditions...
1. it makes you stronger &
2. it gives you a new appreciation for the little things that you'd usually take for granted.
So here in Jackson, We are doing our Debriefs & Briefs.
Being all professional like.
AND OH OH!
I had my interview for Summer of Service...
Despite some awkwardness, I feel very confident about my interview.
I don't recieve the outcome for a week or more, so that leaves me here praying for the best.

And looking back to the last days with St. Bernard Project...
So much to say, I'm left almost speechless with all the thoughts I have jumbling up my brain.
First of all, I had one goal before leaving.
And that was to see TWO...yes, ONLY two pieces of flooring go down.
BUT I managed to complete THE ENTIRE FLOOR!
THE ENTIRE FLOOR.....YES, I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, THE ENTIRE FLOOR!
That is 9 rooms total, that I led volunteers to progress from drywall to flooring!!!!!!!!!!
I can't explain how accomplished I feel....4 weeks, and so much to show for it!
But the reason this was so important for me was because I made such a strong bond with my homeowners and their kids.
I can honestly say they are a part of MY family.
They are such incredible people and have taught me that despite the hurdles and the flaws of a family, those flaws are the only thing keeping a family bond strong.
I'm bonded to them through flaws and they've helped me to realize that no matter how imperfect my family is, I have unconditional love for them and there isn't any hurdle we can't jump or pull us apart.
And so to see this floor go in for this wonderful family, was an incredibly heartwarming experience for me.
The floor is what takes the house from looking like a construction site and turns it into a home.
It really gives it the warmth to the house.
The shell of the home is done, and I can proudly say that I helped make that possible.
I have now helped two famlies get one step closer to moving into their home and recreating that lost daily lifestyle.
The experience isn't really something I can say in words or ever really be able to explain, but was life changing, something I will never forget.
Leaving was one of the hardest things I've had to do...
After making that connection with The Briere's,
And having to leave the home, unfinished.
There was definately not a shortage of tears.
I wish terribly that I could have seen them move in.
My only hope is that I will be able to return someday and see them in their home.
But I will definately stay in contact, they've made a huge impression in my heart.

I do realize that life goes on...
And so ONWARD TO NEW JERSEY!
I've already mentioned a little bit about my next project.
I'll be working with children to teach them about horticulture...SO EXCITING!
But what I just recently found out is that I'll be living at Camp Sun 'n' Fun...
My entire team is looking forward to this.
But I am especially excited, seeing as I want to start my own camp someday.
I'm really looking forward to see how to run a camp and all the in's and out's.
Camp Sun 'n Fun is a camp for children and adults with developmental disabilities, and it's going to be an awfully interesting experience.
I'm anticipating learning so many more new things.
Especially about gardening and being Green!

However, I may be leaving in June for Summer of Service.
But I'm excited cause that will let me get Round 2 experience, along with Summer of Service, and then rejoin my team halfway through Round 3.
All the more experience! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

And I can't leave out all the Independent Service Projects, that Raven 5 did.
I went to a Community Meeting in Chalmette, which talked about the environment.
I've never been to any kind of community meeting before, and it really gave me the desire to attend them whereever it is that I live. I feel they are very important.

I also worked at a huge event in the Superdome, called V-day.
It's an event to raise money to start shelters for abused women.
Quite the organization, and they perform The Vagina Monologues, which is defiantely interesting.
I also met a few celebrities there. One more first to mark off!

That same weekend, we did a Kaboom build, we did 24 hours of ISPs that weekend which means that for about 3 or 4 weeks I hadn't had the chance to sleep in.
Watch out, when I come home I'm going to be an early riser and a morning person.
So anyways, the Kaboom build was amazing.

What we did was help rebuild a park. Torres Park was actually rebuilt after the storm but two kids decided to burn it down. So they had to rebuild it all over again.
But it was amazing being a part of it.
I helped to rebuild one of those chain bridges.
Not sure if that means anything. But I used chain cutters.
Man, I didn't know you needed muscle to use them....but have no fear, my muscles saved the day!

We also helped out at the Animal Rescue of New Orleans.
We got to walk dogs and clean out cages.
I walked a dog named Picassa, she was adorable.
It made me want to quite the Corps just so I could go home and get a dog.
And also really miss my cat, Gus!

There was also a day that we worked at the Audubon Zoo at a fundraiser.
We manned the carnival games for the kids.
I was running a Par one golfing game.
And I thought the kids would never stop coming.
And Low & Behold, here comes the girl with the powerswing,
And me, with my head too close,
I got WHACKED! in the head....yes, an egg appeared and everything!

But all in all, I enjoy volunteering and helping out these communities.
I've definately found my nitch in life.
I feel strongly that service will be a HUGE part of my life...FOREVER!

20 April 2008

Driven by...

And I'm stuck, I don't know the word to explain it.
I was on a high I guess you could say...
I worked harder today than I'll ever even begin to explain.
The funny thing is, it was a long, exhausting day, but it felt like 15 minutes.
I was focused.
I had a goal, and I was going to achieve it.
No matter what hurdle stood in the way.
That's when time isn't on one's side.
My body was numb.
Numb to the way I was challenging it.
To the physical demands I was pusing it to.
My mind was held captive.
By a feeling I can not explain.
I was the bus on "Speed."
I couldn't slow down or I'd blow up.
My tears were being held back by my work pace.
My blood, sweat, and tears were literally poured into my work today.
I walked out of The Briere House today with raw & bloody shins...
Covered head-to-toe in dust, caked on by my sweat.
I got the, "Are you dying?" look, because of the tears swelling up in my eyes.
And all driven by...
What?
Something I can not explain with words...

09 April 2008

Who's to Say What's Impossible?

Since I last wrote about my project, a lot has changed.
First of all, we almost completed Dawn's house.
However, finishers come in to do the electricity, plumbing, and cabinets.
It's nearly finished...I can't wait to help her move in.
But, in the meantime, I've moved down the street, to another house.
It is a family of 6.
The Briere Family
Alan, he's the dad.
Lynette, she's the mom.
Christopher, 21.
Shawn, 17.
Gabrielle, 15.
Shelby, 12.

I have met all of them, but Chris. They are such a cute family, and very inclusive. Lynette only works parttime nights at a bar in New Orleans. So she hangs out and helps ALL THE TIME. And Al is a cop, and stops by several times a day, and has weekdays off sometimes and comes in to help. It's so fulfilling to see how excited they all are. And to see them help out! The kids are so helpful, but that's okay. Their story is similar to Dawn's. They rented before the storm as well. But they were very fortunate because Al's parents gave them their house. They couldn't live far from a Hospital because of health conditions, so they moved away. But it's Al's childhood home. And he gets to see it rebuilt. It's adorable to see them so happy. They can honestly never stop smiling, and Lynette is so giddy, she seems nervous almost because of how giddy she is. And Al has so many stories. Because he had to stay during the storm, during the flood from the levee's breaking, and during recovery. He rescued people and helped clean up. He was seperated from the family for quite some time. And the rest of the family moved around a little. Went to a hotel that Lynette's step dad managed but got kicked out earlier than expected. And then moved in with Al's brother, who turned out to be VERY verbally abusive. And then they finally got a family sized FEMA trailer. Which STILL isn't big, and they stay in a trailer park full of cops. When they recieved they house, they were planning on rebuilding it all on their own from paycheck to paycheck. And didn't expect it to be done until 2010. Until they heard about St. Bernard Project. They'll be moved in for sure by May. We are currently mudding & sanding. Hopefully soon we'll be texturing & priming. Again, It's such a beautiful thing to watch the transformation from a gutted house, to a family's home. I can't explain the feeling, and the gratitude they have. They don't even know how to repay their volunteers. I think it's a little overwhelming for them.

In other news.
I FOUND OUT MY SECOND ROUND PROJECT!
As of the first week in May, I'll be in Camden, NJ!
Working for a project called The Children's Community Garden.
I don't know a whole lot about it yet, but here is their website...if you'd like to check it out!
http://www.camdenchildrensgarden.org/

Jack Johnson: Upside Down (great lyrics that feel like my themesong)

Who's to say
What's impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything
And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There's no stopping curiosity
I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
I don't want this feeling to go away
Who's to sayI can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem
I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste
Well it all keeps spinning spinning round and round and Upside down
Who's to say what's impossible and can't be found
I don't want this feeling to go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Is this how it's supposed to be
Is this how it's supposed to be

Lovely, isn't it?

Miss Y'all! Hope you're all enjoying life!:)

07 April 2008

What's next?

So I found myself on the night before my birthday, which turned out well by the way. Thanks to everyone who remembered. And thank you to my team for helping me celebrate. BY KIDNAPPING ME! ha... but the custard was good and I beat y'all at bowling. Ah the beauty of it all... But honestly, I've never been happier. It's nice to be reassured that people love & care about you. So many people remembered back home, and that means the world to me.

But anyways, I found myself on the night before my birthday, having to write out my first resume. Which turned out to be rather pathetic. A short page & a half. I looked at this resume and thought who is going to look at this and be impressed? NO ONE! Luckily, Summer of Service, the program I was applying for wanted some written statements to some, at first glance, rather simple questions. And so I set out to make up for my meek resume with a heart-felt passionate "paper." It really took a lot out of me. It all started to come together. What I wanted to do, what I had to do to prepare for my dreams, and what the next step was to my future. But once I started to write, it sort of poured out of me. I was shocked with the passion that I hold for such a little idea that I have, and that it could be pourn out through my fingertips. It made me realize, that even with the lack of experience, I whole-heartedly wanted this. I want this for my future, I'm dedicated, and nothing will stop me.

My paper for the Summer of Service Application:

Over the years, I have come to find myself in positions with levels of responsibilities that quite frankly were unexpected and frightened me a little. First of all at age 15 I was helping out an after care program at a private school. I slowly started to realize, not only was I there to keep an eye on these kids until their parents arrived, but that I became an integral part of their day and they looked up to me. Consequently, I took on the role model position to the best of my ability. Even though it scared me that I was making such an impact on someone I grew confident and learned to love that feeling of fulfillment.
Several years later I found myself in a similar position. I was hired last year at a rather small assisted living home. Knowing I would have no immediate supervision, but not expecting the responsibilities I was going to soon learn to take on. I was faced with many challenges on the job. My co-workers took advantage of not having immediate supervision and slacked in many areas of their job. I saw this as a problem, due to the fact that I feel the elderly deserve nothing less than the best treatment after a lifetime of hard work. So I learned how to take on the responsibility of “supervisor” without undermining my boss or my co-workers. Communication and flexibility were two huge skills I improved on in my time there. Needless to say, it worked out for everyone. My boss was pleased with having to deal with less stress, the work was accomplished efficiently, and the residents were treated with a higher standard of quality.
Which leads me to my current position on the AmeriCorps*NCCC as the Vehicle, Safety, & Tools/Assistant Team Leader. I have to admit I was secretly hoping for a role with responsibility but also very reluctant to take it. I didn't know what to expect and I am the youngest on the team. My Team Leader coaxed me into it by saying she felt that the team respected me and that she felt it would give me experience for the future goals. I had to agree, it was a fear I had to overcome. However, I have found it a role that comes naturally. I have not faced any challenges thus far. The team does seem to respect me and I feel as if I balance holding responsibility well while also being viewed as a peer. The future, however, makes me very apprehensive. My Team Leader will be absent for 4 days and that leaves me in charge. And as the youngest team member, I fear my teammates may try to take advantage of the fact that I am not an experienced Team Leader. I am counting on the respect they hold for me, and I do not have a definite course of action if this does occur. Although, I am certain that regardless of my fears if the time comes, I will have the confidence and resources to take charge.
I am also currently working for the St. Bernard Project as a site supervisor to rebuild homes for the people who lost everything in Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. And anyone of my teammates and/or staff at the St. Bernard Project will tell you I was nail-biting, stop-you-dead in your tracks nervous for such a responsibility. With my fears alongside me, I took on the job. It offered many challenges, but soon enough I was learning new skills and directing new volunteers every week. When I stepped back and observed myself, I noticed I was confident. I felt adequate for the job. And I can't help but hear my sponsor, Zach, saying, “It's a good thing you're scared, that means you care enough to not screw up.” And looking back, I see a pattern. Everytime I was struck with blood-curdling fear it was because I didn't want to fail, I cared too much to take the job lightly.
And now I want to embark on a new journey, and as all the times before, thinking about it drives the butterflies within me crazy. However, I feel my participation as a crew leader will strengthen the Summer of Service Program because of the passion I have for service. Not only that but I strongly feel the need for that passion to spread like a wildfire through not only our country but specifically the youth. They are the future after all.
Summer of Service is a program I would put my heart and soul into. To spark a fire in youth about service is a dream come true for me. But as much as I would be giving, I would be receiving in return. Summer of Service would facilitate multitudes of gain in my life. Being a Crew Leader would help me conquer many fears, improve my communication and leadership skills, help me attain values upon values, and become a much more independent individual. Although most importantly, it would give me the experience of a lifetime.
My future goals include starting a Bible Camp and a non-profit to involve youth in service. My dream is driven by feeling as a teenager that I wasn't ever offered the opportunity to serve. I do realize I also wasn't searching for it, but I also know that if I would have been made aware of the opportunities out there for me I would have taken advantage of them. So I strongly feel that if I put the word out and encourage youth to be involved, more teenagers will continue a livelong commitment to service. Whether it be longterm or just dabbling in it. I've always wanted to be the world's hero, but realize I can't do that alone. So I feel if I plant the seed of service in as many people as possible, the world will slowly become a better place. And Summer of Service is a program that is screaming my name. It is a calling I've been waiting for. An opportunity to kick start my ideas and feel out the work I want to completely immerse myself in.

I went to bed that night, feeling hopeful.

27 March 2008

Be the Change You Wish to See in the World

So I'm sitting in the meditation room of my "beautiful" volunteer housing, thinking about how wonderful life is, even despite all the downers I COULD be focusing on. Camp Hope is... Well, Home...I guess. And let me fill you in on my temporary home. First of all, Camp Hope is an old middle school transformed into volunteer housing. Therefore...that means they get to cram about 32 girls into one room. On bunkbeds, with no limit to the stuff they bring. Which means...Yes, You guessed it, Not Enough Space & Too Much Estrogen! It's pretty werid living in a space the size of a prison cell, and living out of a backpack. Needless to say, I spend next to no time in my room. And when I do I'm relaxing, changing, or sleeping. It's homey, after you get use to it.

My daily routine goes a little something like this:
- Wake up at 6:30, hating that I can't hit snooze and sleep in like I did through school---Oh but wait...Sometimes we get up at 5:30 and do P.T.....and that ain't no joke...it's HARDCORE!
- Get dressed into my LOVELY uniform, that I will admit I don't wash until the end of the week
- Brush my teeth, after waiting several minutes to get to sink behind the long line of volunteers who haven't perfected the art of using a bathroom with no mirror or untimed sink. (not to mention, Camp Hope holds about 1,000 volunteers at once)
- Go to breakfast, which also includes a line. LONG ONE! and eat usually eggs and bacon for breakfast.
-Pack a lunch, which is PB & J with an apple or orange (sometimes a muffin or 2) EVERYDAY!
- Put on the sexy steeltoes! (takes forever...boy do I love slip-ons after wearing those)
- Pile into the van!
- Get dropped off at MY HOUSE!
- Do Construction & Lead Volunteers at MY HOUSE!
- Clean up!
- Pile into the van...
-Maybe have a meeting.
- Get "home"
- Eat, after waiting in the long line in your filty uniform.
- Shower! in the community(when I say community, I still get my own stall) showers...with no pressure, but THANKFULLY hot water!:)
- Relax a little, and go to bed! To start the next day off with the same thing!

Ah, The beauty of all of this though. IS that...Even though I have so much to complain about that I would usually complain about before, I look past it. And I'm able to do so because of the passion I have for what I'm here for. And after learning what is and isn't important in life. It hardly crosses my mind that I have hardly any luxaries. But how could it, knowing that so many people around me have nothing! Have to rebuild their lives, starting from where they wake up in the morning. I can't complain, It would ultimately make the whole situation worse. Just a little reminder to not take for granted everything you have!

So, My job!

I work for the St. Bernard Project as a Site Supervisor. Sounds so professional! & I am assigned to a house, where I, ALONE, have to direct volunteers to rebuild a home. Mind you, it's only the interior of the house. But construction nonetheless! So I've learned tons of leadership, communication, and construction skills. I LOVE IT!

The St. Bernard Project is a non-profit. (Always in need of a donation) That rebuilds homes for around $10,000 per home for elderly, people with disabilities, and families with schoolage children. However, the house must be structurally sound. If you want to know more; their website is: http://www.stbernardproject.org/index.html YOU CAN ALWAYS VOLUNTEER OR DONATE MONEY! :)

But furthermore on what I do for them. Every week, new volunteers arrive, which is really neat. They each have different skills and personalities, and the change really makes the job exciting, however sometimes a little slower because you are teaching them everything! I can defiantely see these houses going up faster if skilled individuals were involved. But hey, I'm working on my skills daily:) What I've learned to do is, mud and sand drywall, texture drywall, put in laminate floors, cut and install baseboard, and install doors. I've also primed and painted, and laid stick-on tile, but that's nothing new. Oh I use POWER TOOLS...daily. :) Love it! It's such a fulfilling job, seein the progress you make every week, on the house and the volunteers. (Even though I get slim to no training, I feel like it's a very common sense thing, building a house) I'm so elated that I get to be a part of helping one more family get into their home and start to restore a sense of normal daily routine to their life and to see my homeowner's face light up, everytime she walks in the house and sees the progress.

Who by the way is Dawn. She has a 4 year old daughter named Hannah and works cleaning houses. She is such a sweetheart and I think doing so well for losing everything. She has really taken it well, and has an amazing attitude. She sees it as more or less, I can't change the past and I just have to pick up the pieces and move on. It's beautiful and very admirable. Here's her Katrina story. She was not a homeowner before the storm, she has always rented and when told to evacuate, did so, with only 3 days of necessities for the trip. For that is what the usual evacuation is like. You leave for 3 days til the storm is gone and come home to debris and damage, but a home nonetheless. However, this time, the levees broke. And the parish filled with water, up to 30 ft high. And so everyone's homes were destroyed. St. Bernard Parish was 100% uninhabitable. So upon coming home weeks after the storm and waiting for the water to be pumped out, Dawn salvaged what she could from her rental home. Which was hardly anything, she says she got some of Hannah's belongings but that is about all. And even though she could come home, she couldn't return, it was uninhabitable. So she lived in a FEMA trailer with 35 OTHER PEOPLE! Slept in a little room with 10 OTHERS! She also lived in a hotel for awhile after until revcieving her very own FEMA trailer, which is not glamorous or roomy. Her trailer sits to this day, almost 3 years later, on the frontlawn of her mom's house. So in the midst of moving, she bought the house on Marietta St. for cheap off of the demolish list. Which is essentially the houses that people abandoned and didn't want to deal with but were inspected by contracters and deemed structurally sound. And now we are rebuilding it for her, and are pretty close to done with it on the 5th week. And they say they take 6-8 weeks. We are apparently crusing through ours! So proud! And I just can't wait to hand her the keys back and say "Welcome Home!" Especially after our weekly Thursdays, when Dawn cooks for the volunteers and we get to learn all about her. One thing that really hit me is that she said, "I go to reach for things, that I had for years before the storm, and I use daily, I'll hunt for it and then later realize that it's not there. That it no longer exists, the storm took it, and I'll never get it back." So this is just one story of the 65,000 people who inhabited St. Bernard Parish. I just can't imagine that there are so many people left without homes. And lookin' around down here it really just reminds me what truly is important in life, it's not the materialistic things at all. Life is 10% situation and 90% attitude. And I completely agree...

10 March 2008

Feeling Every Adjective in the Book...

Honestly I don't even know where to start...
I'll update on the past week and a half first!
After induction, we sat around A LOT!
There really wasn't any training after that... HOWEVER!
I did three days of service projects.
Two days were at a place called Moveable Feast which is a non-profit that feeds the people of Maryland infected with HIV/AIDS. We moved them from their old building to their new building, which was one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen. The other day we actually took part in loading up grocery bags to give to the clients. It was a good time, the paper bags cut up my arms. FUN STUFF! It's such a great feeling when the sponsors thank you and tell you how much we are appreciated! And how without our help they would have to go through so much hassle and time to get done what we did in no time. It's just WOW! amazing. It's funny how shocked people are when we get our jobs done so fast. I really am proud to be apart of the Americorps*NCCC. I can't say I'm proud of much, or nothing tangible at least. So it's such a feeling of fulfillment to be a part of something that people can benefit from.
The other project as at the American Legion in Havre De Grace. Basically, this place wasn't up to code and was about to be shut down. So we fixed up the place so they could pass their next inspections. We painted, tiled some floors, ripped out some walls, and fixed the floors. They fed us wings and fries afterward. YUMMY! lol They started out with only 3 projects for us to do...but we finished within an hour and a half...so they just kept dishin' out jobs. It was fun, the supervisors were awesome and made it such a good time.

So other than that, We had to pack up our stuff into one bag, called "the red bag" and another backpack. To live in for 8 weeks! possibly more if we don't get to return to "The Point" in between projects, which is definately a possibility. We had to say good-bye to all our friends and our housemates. People you get so close to in a short 6 weeks. So we pack up the van to head out with a group of 9 people in a 12 passenger van. With all of our bags mind you, on a trip that would last two days. 18 hours of driving and just pure chaos! lol It was a good time, lots of bonding with the people that I'm going to learn everything about in the next 8 months. We stopped at a hotel in Knoxville, TN. I'm slowing hitting up states of the U.S. that I have never ventured into before...I will finally be able to tell my brother that I've been more places than he has! and yes...i will rub it in! What are sisters for afterall?

And so then we arrive in New Orleans around 5ish. OVERWHELMED!!!! That's the only way I can really describe how I felt. Seeing everything for the first time...the devastion that everyone hears about but the majority doesn't ever see. And even when you see it on T.V. It's nothing like seeing it firsthand. Even two and a half years after the hurricanes, there is debris EVERYWHERE...boats still lying on the sides of the roads, houses still destroyed all with X's on the front of them. Here's a little background about the place I'm in. It's called St. Bernard's Parish (Parishes are like Counties here, St. Bernard is their most eastern parish, surrounded by water) Anyways, it actually wasn't the storm from the hurricane that ruined the area, it was actully the levees that broke from the force of the storm surge. Everything in the parish was under 7 feet of water I believe. So due to the flooding the Parish was 100% UNINHABITABLE!!!! Not a single soul could move in after the storm. I originally had no idea what really was the cause behind all the disaster down here, I just thought that the storm had taken everything out, but the truth is...there is much more to it than that! It's definately interesting and I encourage everything to read up on it, there are plenty of movies as well. Well anyways, the sense of community down here is amazing! The morale and motivation everyone still has after literally losing everything is incredible. And you & I look at losing everything as the tangible things, their actual material possessions. But they lost more than that, the lost their family members and their daily routines. Their jobs, their homes, their neighbors, their schools. When they say everything, they mean EVERYTHING but their own lives! Oh man I feel like I could talk about this for days...and I've only been here for 2 days, and only worked one of them. But driving through here, and seeing one rebuilt house surrounded by several others that haven't even been touched is incredibly moving. It's scary, imagining something making my home 100% uninhabitable and having to change my whole life style. You really start to feel for these people. And I've never seen any group of people so appreciative. A man named "John Wilkes Booth" talked to us the other night and couldn' emphasize enough how without us here, that none of this could of happened. And because of the lack of government response down here, they lost all faith and hope in the government and we are slowing rebuilding that for them and our young generation's reputation. Our sponsor said to us today, that once he saw American Flags going up, he asked the clients why, and they said, "Because of the volunteers, they give us hope, the flags are for them." That was so POWERFUL!!!!! I could go on forever, I have so much to share about my job, but I'll leave you with that, and catch up again another time.

28 February 2008

Induction Ceremony

We were filed into rows according to team. It just felt like another meaningless ceremony, an annoucement that we were officially beginning the journey of NCCC, nothing special in my mind. I felt like the last month had been a big enough announcement, at least to myself. I had put all my time into training, how could that not have been the beginning, the commitment for the rest of the year. But as the speakers got up to speak, I found myself getting very emotional. I felt like crying several times, and quite honestly got teary eyed. They spoke about how much the people we are serving appreciate our work and gave us examples of ways they had showed their appreciation. As well as the hardwork they had put into serving with the NCCC, all the things they had gained from their service and how important our commitment is to the people of America. I realized that for the first time I am a part of something bigger. I have taken action instead of being apathetic like I have so many times before. I have seen something that needs changing and I am taking a step for change! I know this means a lot of responsibility and a lot of lost luxaries, but none of that really phases me. How can it? Knowing how many people I am going to help, and the appreciation they'll have. It also brought tears to my eyes thinking about how many people just sit back and watch. Watch their fellow neighbors suffer, and just go on with their life, as if they'd never even seen the issue. Acting like it doesn't affect them, but the truth of the matter is that we are a community. It takes the strength of everyone to change. If one aspect is weak, it brings everyone down to that level. I guess what I'm getting at here is that I am proud. Proud to be a part of the MANY in my generation making a difference, despite what people may think. WE CARE & WE WILL GET THINGS DONE!

CTI Update

I've been here for over a month now. It's been very overwhelming at times and very exciting at others. It's the most structured thing I have ever been a part of, the first "team" I've ever been a part of. It gets intimidating thinking about all the rules and regulations, the uniforms, the responsibility, and the living standards. But once you sit back and look at the bigger picture, you feel it. You see and feel the beauty of it all. The beauty of what you are going to accomplish. You feel a part of something so much bigger than yourself, something that is going to make a change! Exhilarating for me at least.

So we are divided into 4 units, and each unit is made up of 7 teams. I am a part of the Raven Unit on Team 5. We have no special name for ourselves thus far, just go by Raven 5. Our team is made up of 10 people, 1 being the team leader. It's scary to think that this 10 people thrown together are going to spend almost every waking moment together and become as close as a family. The differences between us are incredible! We are all so different, I definately forsee challenges that I'm going to have to face this year. It'll just be one more accomplishment I can chalk up on the wall for myself. I anticipate a lot of growth for all of us on the team & I'm incredibly excited to see the end results. To look back and remember what each of us were like at the beginning, and the things we've gone through together! Hmmm....WOW!

We also each have specialty roles. I am the Project Outreach Liason (POL). Which really means that I have to contact potential sponsors that would like to partner with Americorps*NCCC and get our volunteers to work with them. I also find Independent Service Projects for the team. Which are side projects that we find ourself instead of being assinged to by the staff. I have to talkt to a bunch of head guys at businesses basically. I'm nervous because I am not a good public speaker. I feel akward in situations like that. I really have to know my stuff. I'm a darn spokesperson for the NCCC. SCARY! But I'm excited to change all that, to become confident in my social skills. I definately need them for what I hope my future will bring. And I unexpectedly recieved another role on the team. I am the Assitant Team Leader(ATL). Which I was at first "honored" that my Team Leader chose me after seeing the qualitis in me that I needed to take on the part, and I was also excited, to build leadership roles and benefit myself. But I was struck with fear and anxiety at the same time. I realized that I have a ton of responsibility and I'm the youngest member of my team! I hope people take me seriously and I hope that I can do my job well.

So training like I said before is rather boring, we sit around in lectures, just being sponges and soaking in information. But we have had the oppurtunity to go on 2 service projects. Each were a day long and were trail clean ups in Baltimore. The first we pulled invasive species, not very satisfying. But we made it a good time, and got a lot done. It's such an awesome feeling to see what you've accomplished and how thankful our sponsors are for our work...haha It's free! How could they not be? The other was in the urban area of Baltimore. WOW! is how to sum that one up. We did trash pick-up. UNBELIEVABLE how much garbage is in one city and we only had a 1-2 mile trail to clean up. But we collected about 200 garbage bags full PLUS other junk, like toilets and washers and tires. All that good stuff. Teams were there the day before us and cleaned up just as much, and we still left tons of garbage there. It's insane how much garbage I picked up...the shoreline is literally covered, every inch of it with garbage! I smelt like a mixture of alcohol and pure BUTT! I looked good doing it though! LOL! Pictures are on facebook.

So on my freetime, we have a lot of fun, how could you not with 300+ people hanging around in the same spot. I went to D.C. the other weekend for the first time outside of the train station. It was unbelievable. I know I could never settle down in a city. But it's cool to see, it's cool to be on the east coast where so much history happened. But we saw tons of monuments and muesums and went out to eat at cute little restuarants! It was awesome, I had a blast, took over 300 pictures, and spent way too much money! GOOD TIME! All in all I LOVE IT HERE! Can't wait til I have some really good stories to tell you all about the places I go and the people I help!

12 February 2008

Reflection...

Other than getting to know people, life is pretty dull.
Our CTI, which is training, is very boring.
A lot of useless information being beaten into our heads.
For instance, today...we sat through a whole day of Drugs, Alcohol, & Sex Ed.
Nothing like a good refresher of high school health...
But I can't emphasize how amazing the people are here.
It is so refreshing to know that I am a part of a bigger picture.
The fact that I know everyone is here for similar reasons to my own...
Makes me feel like I'm on the right path, and that the world isn't as disturbed as I sometimes feel...
It gives me hope for the future...
I despise that my generation is looked at in a bad light.
Like we are all about ourselves and don't care.
Because this program is made up of all 18 - 24 year olds!
All here for the common good of the community!
BEAUTIFUL:) simply said...
Today was exciting for me...
We figured out what our first projects were going to be.
On the 7th of March, I will be traveling to St. Bernard's Parish in Louisianna.
It's 20 minutes away from New Orleans.
We'll be working with volunteers to build houses.
It's kind of scary considering that I know little to nothing about construction.
I've helped in construction...but I feel like I'm just going to thrown into something.
I just hope that these houses I build don't fall down a couple years from now.
It's insane to think about what I'm going to be seeing when I get there..
And to imagine the devastation that occured during the storm.
And even 2 years later!
I sit here and wonder how many times I'm going to cry...
How many times I'm going to be able to hand keys over to a family who has lived in a FEMA trailer for two years...
How beautiful it will be to feel the appreciation these people will have for our hardwork, sweat, and there are sure to be tears...
I know there are a select few who don't understand why I've gone about doing this...
But I hope once I share my stories,
You will slowly realize the depth of my decesion.

01 February 2008

A summary of the first week...

Well, I've made it through in-processing!
First four days...so far, easy as pie!
Day one:
Age and I arrive at 8:30ish, which is indeed the earliest you could arrive.
And we end up sitting around waiting for them to finish setting up for 300+ people to arrive!
So then we get nametags, which eventually led down the road to OH SO FUN namegames.
YIPEE!
Then we filled out TONS of pointless paperwork...that did in fact repeat itself at least 1,000 times
If I didn't know how to sign my name before...I'm definately on the ball with it now.
Then we recieved our housing assignments...only to find out that Age and I are not rooming together. BUMMER!
A house was something everyone here hoped for.
See there are two housing spots on campus, "The Village" and "9H", which is essentially dorms!
You saw everyone praying for a house...I was one of the lucky ones!
"The Village" like it is called, is pretty much like the movie!:p
HA! no not really...but I have no car, so it's like I'm isolated from the world.
At least until March, when I can get out on a project...
Up until then, it's all fun and games with classes and training and early morning PT!
But then, we were sized for our uniforms and boots!
MAN, If you EVER thought that I have looked horrendous before, wait until you see me in my uniform...DROP DEAD SEXY! let me tell you!
Hot khaki's with grey shirts! OU! OU!
Well, the rest of the week, became pretty much a waste of time!
A lot of name games, a wasteful scavenger hunt that was essentially a "tour of the area."
And...sitting and waiting! Around here it's called, "Hurry and wait."
They stress being on time for everything...but then you have PLENTY of time standing around.
But wait, can't forget about the physicals!
Good times there....They feel you up, make you pee in a cup, check your eyes and ears and pretty much just waste your time! Give you some shots...that made me feel as if I were going to die...went to bed at 8:30 feeling sick as a dog...and didn't wake up until 6:30 the next day!
Oh the joys of new adventures!
However, there are definately positives here...
For instance, the weather....NOT -40! Thank goodness...
And the people here are PRETTY AMAZING!!!!
I've met some AWESOME people & a guy who chooses not to wear deodorant, I think he's the most interesting so far..:p He doesn't smell bad, haha!
I'm actually convinced that not wearing deodorant might not be a bad idea...
Curioius? just ask...i'll explain!
So I share a house with 6 other girls...and I am indeed the youngest!
I'm a little worried they have a preconcieved notion of me "being the youngest."
The house is GLAMOUROUS...complete with cobwebs, dust, dirt, and soapscum!
Falling apart cupboards, broken EVERYTHING, dingy basements, the most ghetto shower EVER, and the front door doesn't open!
But all I can say is that I'm thankful for a house...
From my opinion...I'm sure it will only get worse from here!
This is the best we'll have it for months.
We might end up camping out for all our projects or sleeping in a darn barn! lol
I hope for the best...but hey, I'm prepared for the worst...and can not wait to start this eyeopening adventure!!!
Things should start getting interesting SOON...bear with me until then!

31 January 2008

The Train Experience...

Our first train is from Tomah to Chicago...
HOWEVER, our train decides to hit a car!
YES! You read it right...our train clips either the front or back of a car.
I'm not sure which.
It occurs right outside of Milwaukee, in a town called Brookdale, or that's the name I recall.
So here we sit stuck at a complete stop for over an hour and a half...Me with Age by my side passed out! What a bore. The train finally starts leaving again at about 5 o' clock and we are suppose to be catching the 5:45 train in Chicago...which mind you is 90 minutes away!
We start thinking, oh man, what are we going to do?
Not that we are worried, just frustrated that things aren't going the way they are suppose to.
So we rush off the train in Chicago at around 6:40 and run to the next train that leaves at 7:05 and find out we can't check our baggage...so we have to haul it on yet another train.
With Age carrying a large suitcase, a small suitcase, a luggage bag, a laptop bag, and a backpack! What a site...
We get on the train...watch a movie, and prepare for the next 19 hours ahead of us.
This man was snoring the entire night...and his snoring sounds like farting, along with another guy talking on the phone until 1 a.m.
Let me tell you, not a very ideal place to get some z's.
Finally we fall asleep, but into a very restless sleep.
And wake up to the beautiful sites of these mountains, a river, and small quaint villages along side the tracks.
The scenic car seemed appealing then, where we meet a lady with her son.
She turns out to be the president of the Blind Children of Michigan, and she is taking her very intelligent adopted blind son to visit the senators in D.C.
She tells us her story, of how she put herself in foster car at age 15 because her mom was an alcholic and how she is now a foster mom to babies.
And has taken in 181 babies in 4 years, adopting 2 of them.
I sit there thinking how nice it is to meet such a caring person.
Then lunchtime...And let me tell you, you need talent to eat on a train...
We also had to sit with a stranger...she was nice, kind of cooky!
And the food was decent, but very expensive...We eavesdrop in on the conversation of some foreigners. Only able to make out bits and pieces of some Spanish. They are from Argentina and Brazil, some bored teenagers who came to the U.S. for some adventure.
During lunch, I notice all these broken down buses, rundown campers, some shelters, and such that you could tell people lived in. They weren't inhabited at the time...but it looked like they were planning to return. I'm picturing a bunch of gypsies living in these "shacks" alongside the river...what a life!
Then before we know it, we arrive in D.C., it still feels like Saturday night.
Our train to Aberdeen wasn't suppose to arrive until 8:30 so we catch an earlier train at 5:20.
Kind of disappointed now, that we made that choice, I would have liked to see D.C. but i'll get my chance...It's only an hour away from Perryville.
It was interesting people watching in the train station...just watching people and how different we midwesterners are from the rest of the country.
The train ride is a short hour, with a weird man and a BOX...
Getting off at the Aberdeen train station was odd, a man approaches us and asks us for a ride.
I look at Age, in shock, thinking what if he's a creep?
We say in unison, "We were going to just call a taxi."
This very rich looking man says, "I just dropped off my daughter and this is not a good neighborhood, I'll take you."
Age and I look at each other and decide with our eyes, that he looks trustable...we'll take the chance and skip out on the cab.
Little did we know that he has no idea where he is going...so he drops us off at a Holiday Inn where this energetic Lobby Attendent decides she wants to drive us to where we are going..."I need some cigarette money!" She says...
It's a 15 minute drive to Perryville, But Shari, the lobby attendent, is a hoot! She is cracking jokes left and right and telling us about her kids.
We arrive at the Ramada Inn....FINALLY a shower and a bed! RELIEF!
Strangers, I guess you just have to use your best judgement...I mean you can't close everyone in the world out...It's refreshing to know that people will go out of their way to help you, just when you need it!

Bon Voyage..

Age and I arrive at the Tomah train station at around 11 a.m.
To my surprise, there are at least 30 family members and friends ready to say their good-byes...
It's nice to see all of these loved ones behind our hopes and dreams.
We are rushed onto the train, in tears and filled with sooo many emotions.
I turn to look at Age and all I can do is cry, look at her and say, "I can't believe we are finally doing this." But behind my tears I can't help but let out my excited laughter...so it comes out as an akward sob/laugh...That quite honestly made my stomach churn.
It hits me, time flew, we are finally leaving!
But it still hasn't hit me that I won't be returning home for another 10 months.
It really only feels as if we'll be on vacation for, oh I don't know, a week.
The train passes by Oakdale, Camp Douglas, and Mauston in what seems like minutes.
We left our hometown, just like that, with one step on the train and all our family members behind us in tears and left with high hopes and worry I'm sure.

26 January 2008

Morning Of...

It's the morning of...
The first day of the next chapter in my life,
The beginning of an adventure I hope will change my life.
It still hasn't set in yet & the train will be here in 3 hours!
I've been counting down since 136...Time really flew!
I have so much excitement right now....I might possibly explode!
However, my excitement goes right along side my fear, anxieties, happiness, and well every other emotion ever felt by another human being before!
One kind of feels numb when you have too much to feel at one time...
Well, Bon Voyage everyone...I will miss everyone, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.
See you in November, Enjoy life in the meantime:)
Don't forget to tell me all about it either...

12 January 2008

My Motivational Statement

There are several reasons why I would love to be a part of Americorps. I have always had a passion for helping others. In fact I would go so far as to say that I always put others before myself. I am so passionate about helping others out because I know that I am extremely fortunate, despite the fact that I haven’t had the easiest life, and I know that there are so many people out there far less fortunate than I am. And there is something about enhancing someone else’s life that is so rewarding to me. I make every day of my life a challenge to make someone else’s life better, by listening to their problems, smiling and saying hello, giving a hand, and becoming a CNA. I may not have an outstanding record of volunteer work but I feel that I make up for it with a big heart, my ability to work well with others, and with the dreams I have for my future. My ideal future is to travel the world, be it with other charitable organizations or an organization I start, and help anyone and everyone in need. I don’t need the fancy house and the perfect high paying career that most Americans dream of. I want to better the lives of others through my hard work and generosity even if that means sacrificing luxuries in my own. And by hard work, I mean that when I have it set in my mind to accomplish a project, no matter how hard, I will not give up. I will do anything possible to accomplish the task and do it to the best of my ability. And I truly feel that since I have not had a chance to help out in a big way here in Tomah, Wisconsin, I believe Americorps will give me the foundation and encouragement to push myself towards my dreams of traveling the world to benefit the lives of the less fortunate. The Americorps would be the perfect way to expose myself to this life I dream of and to help many other people towards the life that they dream of.It would be an honor but more of a blessing to be a part of this program.